The Artist's First Half Century

When I was a kid I painted everything around me. The desire was there  as was impulse, instinct and what many called talent and potential. I avoided an art education because I wanted to see how it developed without outside influence. 

The problem with being self taught is that your teacher doesn't know any more about anything than you do so there's a very long, slow learning curve and not much progress for years at a time. 

Before you can even learn how to paint you have to learn how to breathe and not only look at your subject but to really see it. Only then can you feel it enough to ignite that creative spark that fires the imagination behind a painting that works for you and for those who see it. 

Clearly that's not happening this week. I've been painting for nearly a half of a century and it rarely happens yet I can't stop trying. I wish  I could explain what it's like in that one magic moment when everything's right or why the drive is so strong to want it to happen again.

Now that I've explained where I am in the process I'm ready to put it behind me and begin again. I can't wait to see where it takes me this time!

The Journey into Night Painting

This painting is both and old friend and a mortal enemy and in the 20 years we've been together it's been both a dance and a battle. Love and death but nobody wins. It's just never hit the balance of color,texture and subject that it takes to make a great painting.

Sometime's it's taken a more conventional turn in hopes of selling it so that I can afford to keep working and others's I just fling paint at it until I feel better.

People often wonder why artist's destroy paintings. The answer is simply frustration with themselves, the painting, the art market and the world in general.

If you leave it behind some idiot will come along and spout a lot of twaddle about what they think the artist was thinking or trying to achieve with the piece and then pat themselves on the back about their own discovery and insight like they created something. Why give them the satisfaction? In destroying the painting the artist gets the last word and a tremendous amount of satisfaction as well. It's not cash but it makes us just as happy.

Sometimes it does "feel so good when you quit"

Tonight quitting is not an option...just another part of the journey. Your head is in a different place in the early morning hours, critical thinking is suspended and there's just instinct and reflex...the color and the texture. Sometime's that's the breakthrough we both need.

The Challenges of Painting what you grow

It's probably true with most creative people that we avoid the work that takes the most out of us. It's what I call wading around the shallow end, we're reluctant to really dive into the pool because you never know how really deep it is or how long it will be before you come up for air.

A painting is much more than you see on the surface. I'm sure you're thinking "what's so hard about flowers?"

For those of us that grow them too there's choosing the variety, the place that you want to plant it, getting it to grow and then choosing just the right moment to paint it when it's open at the stage that you're trying to capture.

Working from photos just isn't the same as chasing the light and seeing the subtle changes with each shift of both the sun and the plant.

There are a lot of other things I could paint but few that I'm as passionate about so for know I'm doing some cleaning, organizing and card making as I wait for the weather to fill my garden with color.

My Design Concept for the New Painting...and so much more

The upper horse will be painted like the one I had when I was a baby, the lower one will be painted like the first one I did when I was an adult ant the background will represent all of the things I've painted along my journey between the two.

The large horse belongs to my parents and is just visiting me for a while until I've finished working with it. The  blank horse itself was given to me by the guy who used to build a lot of the furniture that I used to paint and it pushed me along on the journey that began to put it all together for me.

When I was young I always used to color horses red and never quite knew why until I found a baby picture of me playing with a dala horse. I knew that one of my grandpa's had come from Sweden but my family never talked about it much so I guess it was floating around in the back of my mind somewhere.

A wildly painted chair that I did back in the 1990's had a couple of red horses between the slats of the back that I'd painted red and added some dots and brushstrokes to but I still hadn't quite figured it out. That chair appeared in the VSA Gallery Calendar in Washington D.C. and the article that I'd written about the comments my neighbors made as I painted it out on my front porch led to the "world chair" that I designed and painted for Woman's Day Magazine.

Appearing in that magazine changed my life, and nearly ruined it. The Galleries said "Oh, she does crafts" and the craft magazines that had been publishing me said "she's too artistic" so I "fell between the cracks" and didn't belong anywhere for a long time.

Thank goodness for a changing world and the internet that recognizes me as a Folk Artist with her own place in the world. I'm true to myself, paint the things I've always loved and thanks to the blog and my stores I can even make a little money at it from time to time.

I can't "make a living" but I have made a life that I can be proud of...whether anyone "gets it" or not.

...and I can surround myself with designs on all sorts of useful products which makes me happier than I've ever been.

When people used to ask "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I always used to say "a dixie cup" they used to think that odd because it's just a brand of paper cups/glasses that everyone used to have. What I meant was that I wanted to be the cute design on them that cheers people up when they're not feeling well. I never cared whether my art would be in galleries or not. I just wanted to brighten up my corner of the world a bit. No wonder everyone always thinks I'm weird. I am-thank goodness!

Fall color from the computer, the view from my window

Most of the leaves are from this birch tree and the neighbors maples and oak. While everyone else would be raking them up I walk around out there trying to find some really pretty ones to scan or paint.

It's pretty easy to see why a lot of people loose patience with artists. We just don't look at the world the way that everyone else does. When I watch TV I notice the soundtrack, the set design or the way it's shot, I hardly notice the characters or the action in the rest of the program.

Falling into the background

I got a phone call while I was working on this from a gal wondering why I hadn't been answering the phone. It was difficult to explain that when I'm really "into" a painting, I'm not home. I've gone somewhere else and I don't want to come back.

Once I'd finished the vase, I was free to relax and enjoy the colors without worrying about where they were going. Getting distracted blew the mood and I'm not sure if I'll ever get back there. It's hard to explain to the rest of the world and I've decided not to try anymore beyond what I write here. We all experience art in our own way or simply refuse to experience it at all, it's not my job to explain it.

A busy worktable

There's still a lot of carving sanding and painting going on with the dala horses which is a challenge because I'm still trying to get that new tablecloth hemmed and mend the lining on my winter coat. I hate to have all the  fabric projects around the sawdust but there aren't a lot of other options right now.
I'm also pulled by the sunflower painting that I started last summer and hoping to get back to work on that soon.
In between that I'm attempting to get some drawings and watercolors done while dealing with the house and family issues.
I'm luckier than a lot of people because most of my days are pretty uncomplicated. That may just be part of the obsession that comes with being an artist. Your often so "into" what you're doing that you're simply unaware of anyone or anything else. It makes me a lousy wife, friend, sister,and aunt. I regret that but I'm either unable or unwilling to change now.

Between Projects

The time/space between projects is interesting because aside from the boring things like cleaning up, assessing damage and deciding where to start next, there are plans, dreams and ideas that propel you into the next project.

I was a bit disappointed with this years effort at a new valentine design so I reworked a few areas, forgave myself and moved on.

The knitting themed horse was fun and easy. The reason that both sides are so completely different was that I couldn't decide whether to show the yarn loose or wound into a tight ball. Now that I've completed it and set it aside I've decided that the best design will be somewhere in between so I'm sanding another horse and may try again with a different assortment of colors.

I managed to get the dishes done and can see my kitchen counter again, laundry was boring but is all caught up and as I continue to clean house I'm trying to decide which of the 4 or 5 projects on my worktable to do next.

In between all of that I came up with a few exciting ideas on Zazzle. I'm the only person I know of who's stores are full of things I've actually made myself:

1.paintings
2.drawings
3.patchwork
4.quilting
5.embroidery
6.photography
7.crochet
8.mixed media

What excites me now is the idea that I can take all of these things and make them into lots of other kinds of things.

The creativity just keeps coming and the work seems to have a life of it's own that will go on long after I'm gone. It just doesn't get better than that.

Sewing projects, Art Sale and the way I do things

I spent the last couple of days finishing a tote bag and sewing a slip cover for the latest Sunflower painting. ( I always like to drop them into a pillowcase or other fabric bag to help protect them when I ship them). Also when I sell a painting I print and send in progress photos and posts I wrote while working on it. I don't know if other artists do this but I feel that telling the story behind a painting is like sending the adoption papers along with that piece of me (the painting) to it's new home.

Anyway, after I finished that I sewed a table runner to go with those floral arrangements that I did yesterday and then went back to carving horses for my next couple of ornament designs.

I'm sorry there are no pictures today, believe it or not I've just been too busy to look for my camera.